Something I need to give myself more of. I’m a planner, Major Type A. I like order, and schedules. I’m a Martha. But I need to be more like Mary. Luckily my mom is a Mary in and out and she puts me back on track.
This post is real and raw. It’s me being vulnerable. We see a lot of “perfection” or what we think is perfection on social media. We see moms who we believe have it all figured out and have it all together.
Fun fact: I don’t have it all together.
Yesterday we decided to go to church in person for the first time since baby. I was stressed because in the morning she didn’t nap as long as I would have liked. Then I got the time of the service wrong and we were 30 minutes early. (it’s not the first time I’ve done that) when we got in it was smooth she fell asleep in her car seat! YES! But then….. Church music starts to play and well it’s more of a concert now a days. Baby wakes…. I rush out and put her baby noise canceling headphones on. Trying to protect her ears from the loud music that’s far too loud for her tiny ears. Praying she would just fall asleep as I bounced. Nope. Wide awake, just so curious of this new environment.
Remember when I said I liked a schedule? Well I take the schedule very seriously lol I know how many hours she needs to eat and there is this amount of time for wake windows and then sleep. When those things don’t happen I get anxious. I know it’s silly, but anxiety, fear, and stress take hold. The devil taking a hold of me. At church! AHHHH!!
I tried to relax, tell myself God is in control and he has a plan. Stress isn’t worth it.
I called my mama and she prayed and reassured me everything is okay, I am a mom doing my best. As soon as I hung up. Baby fell asleep. Jesus took control. Jesus said give yourself grace. He reminded me he is in control. No I didn’t get to listen to the sermon. I sat in the nursing room watching this sweet little baby sleep so peacefully. And I made room for some grace in my heart.
Here is the thing, most of the time things don’t go as planned. A nap with end early. Baby might not sleep. A feeding might be a little late. You might drop the burp cloth 10 times while bouncing. Etc. but one thing remains. JESUS
Gods PEACE is a treasure. He purchased the gift of peace with his blood. We can receive peace by trusting him in the storms of life. If we focus on the worlds peace, everything going the way we want it to go - we don’t seek Gods peace. We should thank God when things don’t go to plan because spiritual blessings come in trials of life. We should expect trials in each day but if we seek Gods peace we can rejoice in those trials.
James 1:2 - “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”